Saturday, April 12, 2014

Our insurance deductible reset

We hit our deductible last year, so when we started at our newest (third court ordered) family therapist my mother and I were ordered to split $12. This was awesome to me, since back in 2010 I paid $185/week to see my son for 3 hours (which my mother was ordered to reimburse me half of and never did). So $6 for an hour of therapy and a 2 hour visit? Yeah, awesome. Of course the 2 hour visits after stopped back at the holidays and it's just been the hour of therapy, but hey, it's an hour with my kid in a positive environment. To be honest, I was surprised they were even still coming at all, so I wasn't going to question too much.

Anyway, our insurance deductible reset, changing our copay from $13 to $95.  So it ends up being $40-something each.  The day she found out, my mother said she could pay it, just not that day.  So we had our session, but I knew in the back of my mind it was the last one for a while. We've been through this cycle before. I cannot understand why the courts just sit there and let the cycle repeat by allowing her to retain temporary custody, which directly infringes on my rights and ability to parent my child.  But I digress....long story short, now we aren't going to therapy either.

We're just sitting around waiting.  I call him on Saturdays so he can tell me he's not coming to visit. If he picks up, that is. Otherwise I leave a voicemail and nobody ever calls me back.  Sometimes I'll email him something I think is cool, but he doesn't answer those, either.  But hey, at least I know now that if he WANTED to, he would now how to reach me. Five years ago he wouldn't have had my phone number or email or anything.
His grades are back down, and he had finally gotten to where he had no Ds or Fs. He missed school Thurs and Fri so I'll have to remember if I get voicemail this week to remind them there is no issue with him going to a doctor, and for someone to just let me know if he needs one.  I don't want him to lay around miserable just because she doesn't want me to know he's sick. Can we PLEASE put him first for once and just get him medical attention if he needs it and not play this stupid game where HIS MOTHER can't find out he was sick enough to need a doctor?

In the last four years if the RIGHT calls had been made by the court and this judge, my son and I may or may not have reached a completely reunified mother/son relationship, but I damn sure would have had a better chance with him in an environment that supports our relationship than I do with him immersed in people that have taught him that my wish to be involved in my son's life is selfish and wrong and evil and manipulative of me and is a huge negative thing that is ruining his life.
How on earth is that in ANY child's best interests?

How is it in any child's best interest to schedule 47 hearings but to allow continuances on 20 (47%) of them?
Or when 116 of 202 scheduled visits are cancelled (that's 57%, in case you were wondering)  but 0% of my contempt motions get set for hearing, heard, or ruled on.

Am I upset with my judge? Sure. This is from her campaign back in 2010

"They file for a divorce and each seek sole custody of the children and Mom wants child support and alimony.  Relief should be coming soon.  They wait. Nothing.
After 3 months, a hearing is finally scheduled with a general master.  After 4 different hearings with a general master there is still no relief and no temporary order.  There is one result. Their savings is gone.  One year later, Dad commits suicide.
We need a family court in Seminole county- one judge assigned to all matters with regard to that family. A family court with judges who are there to listen just to family matters- to vet out issues.  The court system can’t fix people – it is not a therapist,  it is not a bank. However it can listen and it can make orders that make common sense for the parties and families involved. It can manage its docket so that issues are heard quickly and so that families are given direction. They need access to the courts with and without attorneys; they need a court system that is responsive to them. Lets bring a family court to Seminole county!!"
Wow, she seems to think four hearings is a lot. I refer you to the paragraph above where I mention I have had 47 scheduled and 27 actual hearings.

So yeah, I'm upset with her.  But I am more upset with my county, for being set up in such a way that this was allowed to happen. 

As I mentioned before, I have no clue when my next hearing (reset from Jan 31, 2014) is going to be....and it's April now. Four months later and I'm not anywhere on the docket right now.

This doesn't happen everywhere. My husband's custody case in North Carolina may have been longer before the initial hearing (6 months or so) but all continuances were scheduled on the spot by the judge herself, and all were within a week. So the whole thing was settled in less than a year. Whatever anyone thought about any rulings, it was done, and everyone accepted what was and moved forward with their lives.
THAT is best for ANY child involved in any type of custody situation. NOT dragging the entire thing out to span longer than the child's entire middle school career in the hopes the child will be too old to enforce any orders by the time they are ordered.

FOUR YEARS LATER, I am still waiting......WTF, Seminole County?